I’m so excited to share birth stories with you. I absolutely love hearing anyone’s birth story (reach out if you want to share yours!). Every single one is so different, so magical, and I learn something new with every story that makes me more prepared for my future doula clients. I want to start by sharing my very own birth story. 

My birth story started on a Thursday morning. I had a haircut with my best friend in the whole world that morning and in hindsight this is so special to me. I've said this before but Allie has gotten me “ready” for every important event in the last 10 years of my life and it's just so ironic to me that she cut and curled my hair the morning my birth started. I then headed to an OB appointment that was supposed to just be a straightforward 38 week checkup.

We had found out a few weeks prior that the baby was measuring pretty small. It wasn't really an emergency or a concern, just something to monitor, so I had started going for weekly sonograms and non-stress tests. I actually enjoyed getting to see the baby more. 

I had my sonogram and was pleasantly surprised to hear that the baby had gained weight and I thought everything was probably fine. I met with a doctor and he agreed it looked fine and literally said “see you next week!” I left and was blissfully waiting in the lobby about to checkout when they called me back to talk to the doctor again. They were also calling me on my cell phone. I was surprised but I just thought I probably forgot something in the room ... .lol. The doctor brought me back and told me he had accidentally looked at the wrong data and the baby had NOT gained any weight in a week and he was now very concerned and was suggesting we go to the hospital that night to be induced. I was SOOO caught off guard. I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience after that. I had already texted Jesse “everything is great, baby looks great!” 

I asked for a third doctor to come in and review the information just because it was so surprising and the first doctor had already said everything was fine. I'm really glad I did that just for my own sanity to know that this was the right idea and I wouldn’t have any regrets going through with an induction when I VEHEMENTLY did not want to be induced.

My entire pregnancy I've been really open-minded about what our birth might look like. I know birth can go in different directions unplanned.  I just REALLY didn’t want to be induced. I probably said a hundred times "I'll be fine with whatever as long as I don't have to be induced." Induction makes contractions stronger, harder, and labor longer and it just didn't feel like a good option for me and my expectations. It makes an already scary situation scarier. I wanted to labor at home and be with Quigley (😂) in my own space. I'll get to this later, but, thankfully, it turned out to be the best case scenario for what it had to be.

So anyway, then I still had to have a non-stress test and had to sit in the recliner just trying to wrap my head around the fact that we had to go in a few hours to have the baby. Jesse didn't answer his phone at work for half an hour which was stressful but just a memory haha. He had put his phone away because I had already told him everything was fine!!!!! My mother-in-law works at the hospital, so she came over immediately and sat with me and talked about what was going to happen. My attitude started to change from scared to excited with her there. I'm so proud of myself that I did not experience panic or anxiety. Yes I was nervous and surprised but I felt calm immediately. Truly I'm so proud of this.

Hilariously, Jesse's car was in the shop with our car seat in it. We had said the day before when he realized the car seat was in the shop "well we better not have a baby this week" 😂😂 Dylan took Jesse to get the car seat and we met at home shortly after. We talked calmly and excitedly. Jesse was SO excited which really helped me to get in a better head place. We made sure everything was packed and took Quigley for a walk around the block and called our doula to let her know what was going on. We packed some extra things from home to make sure our delivery space was going to be a good environment since we weren't going to be able to labor at home. We brought our Google TV to watch a movie that night, a sound machine and soft lighting, our own pillows and blankets, a Sonos speaker, etc. We then went to lunch and just tried to be excited and calm. We even had a small glass of champagne!!

When we were back at home, both of our moms came over for a minute of hugs and good thoughts. We ordered Thai takeout to bring to the hospital to eat for dinner.

We went to the hospital around 6:00 and got our room all set up. It was storming terribly and pouring rain and Jesse got absolutely drenched. The nurses started an IV and explain to us what would happen and we were all set up around 9:00. I had a cervical check and they inserted a tampon with a medication that softens your cervix because I wasn't actually in labor yet. This stays in for 12 hours and then the induction starts the next morning. They said I would likely have some cramping.

We watched Spider-Man and ate Thai food and tried to sleep. I was miserably uncomfortable in the hospital bed and the fetal monitor on my belly kept falling off which was so annoying. The nurse came in like every 45 minutes to put it back on. I didn't sleep 1 minute 😂

Around 1:45 a.m. I noticed I was having regular contractions. I just laid there watching the monitor and was like "are these contractions?" You can watch the waves happening on the monitor system and it became really regular.

I started timing the contractions around 2:30 and they were 3-4 minutes apart. I was just laying in bed watching the monitor and listening to an audiobook, I had to focus on my breathing but not enough that I needed to stand up or do anything, I was just laying there. It felt like a really deep hunger pain but very bearable. At one point a nurse came in and was like "you're actually in labor, I can see the contractions happening" this was surprising because the induction hadn't actually started, just the cervical softener. I let Jesse sleep because there was nothing to do.

We woke up around 6:30 a.m. and they removed the tampon. I kept saying I just wanted to get up and brush my teeth and wash my face and the nurse was like "okay the doctor's going to come in right now so you can do it right after." This never happened 😂 I did put my own gown on to feel more comfortable and less clinical (highly recommend!). The doctor came in and did a cervical check around 7:30a and I was already 3cm dilated. He asked if it was okay to break my water, which he did, because I was clearly already in labor. Immediately by 7:45a I was having contractions that caused me to really need to deep breath and focus on what was going on. I was just so surprised. Again, they hadn't even started the induction yet and decided to wait on the induction medication because it was already happening.

From about 7:45 a.m. until 9:00 a.m. I was in deep labor. I was standing with the bed raised and my arms up on the bed and my head down rocking side to side and moaning so loud and uncontrollably. Jesse had his arms around me the whole time whispering in my ear that it was going well and I was doing great and doing counter pressure on my hips and my back. I could not speak or open my eyes. I was puking in between contractions. The contractions were about a minute apart. I was able to take really deep breaths and the resting minute in between contractions was life-saving.

Around 9:00 I asked for an epidural because I couldn't believe how strong the contractions were. Our doula Chrissy hadn't even come yet because I just assumed this would be going on all day. In my mind I thought I was probably four or five centimeters dilated at this point. Chrissy then arrived and the anesthesiology team also arrived maybe around 9:30 to put the epidural in. I remember the nurse telling me there were two patients in front of me getting epidurals and it would be a few minutes and between each contraction I was saying in my mind " just one more just one more just one more until you get some relief."

In the course of a few minutes the epidural was in and I had a cervical check. This was the most exciting moment for me in the labor because I was fully dilated!!!!!! 10cm before the epidural or pitocin was started and it happened in less than two hours. WTF. I am so proud of this and truly so amazed at my body. Like I said earlier, my big fear was how long labor would be because I was being induced and it turned out to be the shortest experience getting to 10 centimeters before the induction had even started 🤯 they did end up starting the induction medication after I had the epidural because the epidural causes things to slow down, so I got one dose of pitocin. That's it.

At this point it's about 10:30 and they asked if I wanted to start pushing. I didn't feel ready and wanted to sit upright for at least an hour and let the baby come down with gravity. Pushing can go on really long if the baby is not low in your cervix and we felt comfortable waiting an hour. These contractions were really weird and really just in my butt. That's a good sign though because it means the baby is coming down.

Around 11:30 the nurse came in and I was having high blood pressure. She really suggested we start pushing and see what we could do. They were having a hard time monitoring the baby's heart rate and decided to put in a scalp monitor to the baby's head instead of a monitor around my belly. The doctor inserted the scalp monitor and helped me figure out how to push for a minute.

It was a goal of mine to not push on my back as much as possible. Gravity and moving your pelvis in different ways other than on your back is really helpful for baby. We tried lying on either side pushing which was good. I then asked for a squat bar to be put on the bed because the epidural was so light I could move my legs and we felt comfortable that I would be safe in a squatting position. This was awesome. It was a really powerful position to be in and made me feel really productive and confident. I would sit on the edge of the bed and rest between contractions and then push in a full squat. 10/10 would recommend.

I pushed for about 2 hours which was unbelievably exhausting. The doctor would come in and coach me a little and see where the baby's head was - we were making progress. Jesse was absolutely amazing during this whole time. He never took his hands off of me and coached me through breathing and pushing in such a good way. We had music playing this whole time and it was just such a calm good vibe.

After 2 hours I decided to take a break and lay down for 20 minutes. I had a washcloth on my face and needed to rest to finish the process strongly. We had my birth playlist playing and it was a great environment. (check it out here!)

We started pushing again about 1:30 p.m. The doctor came in and was confident we were doing all the right things. At this point he could see about a quarter size of the baby's head with each push. He left and said he'd be back in a while... this is funny in hindsight, I'll get there. I had my eyes closed but I could tell we were getting closer because Jesse was getting so excited.

At 2:12p, the nurse said excitedly "probably two more contractions and we will page the doctor to come back for delivery!" I did one more huge push and she said "wait slow down page the doctor right now!!!!!" The baby's head came right out and with another breath her entire body came out. This was 2:15 p.m. and the nurse delivered her! The doctor didn't make it back! This was one of the best moments of my life. They put the baby right on my chest and I just kept saying "what the hell what the fuck???" The whole thing just happened so quickly... Like I didn't even get to brush my teeth 😂😂😂

Another amazing moment momentarily after is when Jesse said "It's a baby girl!!!!" I screamed with happiness and just couldn't believe it. The doctor made it in about 2: 16p...literally a minute too late 😂 he put a few stitches in me and delivered the placenta. I can't even describe the amazing feeling when the placenta came out...it was just like the greatest relief of my life. I was not expecting that. We asked for optimal cord clamping and didn’t cut the cord for about 9 minutes. The baby... now Murphy... Stayed on my chest for an hour while they checked her over and she was perfect. We just kept saying over and over again how tiny she was 😂

Our girl was born at 2:15pm weighing 5 pounds 5 ounces.

Our breastfeeding adventure started shortly after she was born, but I’ll save that for another story!

If you made it this far - WOW!!!!!!!!!! As I reflect on my first birth experience, I felt seen, heard, supported, and safe. It was not ideal, but we rolled with it! As a doula, I want all women to feel this way after giving birth.

Please reach out if you want to discuss my birth doula services. I can help you have the birth you want to have!

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I'm excited to talk about one of my favorite things - BOOOOKS. I am an audiobook junkie. I have listened to over 300 audiobooks (LOL). I also always have a physical book that I am reading as well! During my pregnancy, I really enjoyed taking a walk and listening to pregnancy and parenting books.

It can be really overwhelming to digest information related to pregnancy and parenting and decipher what is fact, fiction, or seriously biased. As a doula, mom, and public health professional, these are three parenting books I highly recommend.

I read or listened to these books during my pregnancy and will definitely revisit each of them when my daughter is a little older.

The first three books I'm talking about today are

Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman (buy it here) (great audiobook)

The Montessori Baby by Simone Davis and Junnifa Uzodike (buy it here) (I suggest reading this book physically, not on audiobook. it’s a great visual guide)

The Danish Way of Parenting by Jessica Joelle Alexander (buy it here)

(Note: please check your library before buying!!!)

Bringing Up Bébé is written by Pamela Druckerman as she was parenting in France as an American. She compares her observations of French children and what she sees as the differences in parenting styles that create more autonomous, independent, respectful children.

The Danish Way of Parenting by Jessica Joelle Alexander uses the acronym PARENT to describe the Danish foundations of parenting: play, authenticity, reframing, empathy, no ultimatums, and togetherness.

The Montessori Baby by Simone Davis and Junnifa Uzodike is a visual and text guide to raising a confident baby from birth to infancy. This is the first of a series of Montessori guide books, including the Montessori Toddler, The Montessori Child, and The Montessori Family.

These books have helped form the basis of my parenting philosophy. They share a common emphasis on fostering independence, emotional well-being in both parents and children, and respect for children’s development.

All three advocate for raising children with a focus on independence and confidence. The Montessori Baby encourages autonomy through child-led learning and exploration. Diagrams, photos, and lists are provided to show you how to set up spaces in your house for baby to be completely safe and independent. Bringing Up Bébé promotes self-sufficiency and patience (le pause 🥖), and The Danish Way highlights the importance of teaching resilience and independence in a supportive family environment.

By biggest take away from each of these books:
- The Montessori Baby - this book outlines how to set up your nursery and play spaces to encourage independent play from infancy and I have taken many of the ideas from this book into our life so far.
- Bringing up Bebe - the most impactful lesson from this book for me is about taking a pause before responding to the baby. The French call it "le pause" haha. Take a deep breath before running to the baby when they cry immediately. I love this lesson.
- The Danish Way of Parenting - I love the importance of play, especially outdoors, regardless of the weather, and this book really aligned with me philosophically.

These recommendations emphasize the importance of emotional regulation and well-being in both children and adults. We have to be emotionally intelligent parents to raise emotionally intelligent children!

I think these books promote a parenting style that respects the child as an individual from birth. Babies need to be respected, trusted, and allowed to explore.

Have you read any of these? What did you think? What would you suggest for me to read next?! Let me know in the comments!